I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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