How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
