Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
