I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
