You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think my moral compass just broke
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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