i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
