so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
