forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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