Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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