Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
