I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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