tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize