You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
