Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
