I wish i was in the wii world.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
