Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
