is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
