his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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