Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
