Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
