Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
