Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
