Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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