spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
