just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
