Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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