Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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