Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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