now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
