oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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