Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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