Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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