You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
