i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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