His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
