I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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