I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
