ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
