Umm I'm too high to move.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
did i walk over a car last night?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
