They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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