Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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