On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
