i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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