Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
