I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
