You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
