just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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