No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
