i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
