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Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
