I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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