Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
