Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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